Anna Benson Enterprises

11.03.2006

While reading my rant, please DO use the links to see more!

Dearest Sport’s Writers,

This letter is to my biggest fans, my sport’s writers, for making my career as a female sports figure so exciting. I have enjoyed my daily Google alerts so much, and, coincidentally, you’ve made me the third most downloaded person on Google this month (after Heather Mills and one step ahead of Major League Baseball, which is quite an accomplishment considering the proximity of the World Series!). If it weren’t for all of your love, support, and close attention to every step of my Jimmy Choo’s, I would not have been able to buy so many pairs.

I can’t thank you writers, sport’s announcers, radio-show personalities, and other media outlets enough, but I especially can’t thank my Mets' beat writers enough. I know that my Mets’ beat writers miss me very much, and I miss them as well for being so very noble. Since Kris was traded in January, I have had a huge, supportive fan club of beat writers and the NY Daily News. Thanks to them and their unfaltering support, I am still the most exciting thing to happen to the Mets since the ’86 World Series! …Adam, especially, inked my name in the record books as the first wife to ever cause a trade because of her “boobins”… thank you Mr. Rubin. It will be forever noted that the 2006 Mets lost the NCLS because I “couldn’t keep enough clothes on” or my “mouth shut.” If I hadn’t bared my scantily clad body to the Mets' Christmas Party, showing my “boobins” to all, the Mets definitely would have won the World Series. I think the bottom line is that a prestigious MLB organization would never discriminate against a player’s wife’s “boobins” and trade “boobins” for balls because they have plenty of balls… or do they?

I know some of you media think that I am a joke, but, to me, the punch line is that the Mets lost a World Series win due to “Anna Claus.” Hopefully next year the Mets will worry more about Santa than the Mrs. and win a big, fat ring.